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Suicide
I see myself in the reflection
My mind twists and slivers
On my arm, a tiny bit of skin suspended
The ideas, wrench in my head
A blade falls out of my pocket
I want to shred my skin apart
Feel the thick red juice ooze out
And take all these strings
They call my veins
And wrap them around everything
The sense of power,
chokes me, and provokes me to carry on
I want to strip my skin
Right down to the marrow of my bones
I want to show the hole that I have inside
Slice my skin open, let all the pain dribble out
Watch the liquefied ache pour onto the stained floor
Stare at the white tiles,
Slowly transforming into a mass of redness
I want to end the madness
let my life seep away from this vicious world
The Feelings Inside
At first when I saw your face,
It seemed that you were sweet and couldnt harm a soul
But as time frayed away I saw a different side of you
An evil, wicked side as it shone through
You acted most innocent, and laughed through my pain
As I stood here and took it all in vain
You didnt see the hurt inside me
To be your friend, this was the fee
Now I close my eyes, and see the light
Its Burnished, it gleams, and is a beautiful sight
I anticipate the ground I stand on to swallow me up
Dispose of me like a shattered cup
Take over me with the darkness of beneath
So I no longer must suffer the grief
Im sorry
My life so cold and trivial
I thought I was right, but I was so far away
I now live in shame and disgust
Every step I take is wrong, every face I read misleads me
I am so confused
I am nothing to the world
Just a shredded piece of paper, ready to be thrown away
Please make this go away,
please turn back the hands of time to when everything was perfect
Im sorry I hurt you, please forgive me
With you gone, my life erodes away,
And it gains speed untill I am gone forever
You wont even notice since I pushed the pain down inside
I never ment to hurt you this way
Im sorry....
Concealed
Sometimes in your presence, I feel invisible
You take no notice when im in need
All I saw was your hatred greed
The air throws against me when you walk past
Its almost like, im not there at all
You used to show your sweet and innocence
Now all you show is your wicked side
I used to be your pride
But I knew that would never last
I remain in the past,
While you escape towards the future
With no realization, of the torture
In your Heart
When Im around you, all words disappear
I find myself in a blur for actions
As your delicate smile arises,
My subtle thoughts are interfered
The simple grace of your hand gesture
Sends me into a world of admiration
Soon I notice, of the long gone deprivation
Of all the creatures upon this earth
You are by far the finest since birth
As our short time spent together
Soon wears out, but you remind me
Well be mutual forever
Falter
I gave all my trust to you
My soul, my heart, my life put into your hands
As it all sifted through as if it were sand
I felt us crumble apart
A part of me taken away, no longer within me
Shredded and torn I now lay
With no where to go, no where to escape
As I look into the sky, deep swirls of black and gray
Fill up the dull mass of space
The ground suppresses me back down
Takes me to a darker side of the place beneath
With the aid of the ghastly beasts,
They nurture me back to my natural state of mind
But no soul realizes, no love, no care, no help
May reverse the pain you gave me
I sit here and wilt, like the petals on a deceased flower
I wish for the edge to draw me in and thrust me over
So I may no longer be hurt,
No longer live through the agony
From the pain you drove into my heart
Games
She taught me to treat others
The way Id like to be treated
I know yours did, but you didnt listen
You go around with your mind as a brutal weapon,
And your heart locked up tight
Play mental games, tease about love
Mindlessly, shamelessly
Girls weep with their dented hearts
Gradually dripping out the blistering pain
You tread around feeling no sorrow
Isolated me from the rest
My tears flowing
My heart bleeding out the tears
I strive to restore all you captured from me
Regain the strength to move on
But once again, your eyes burn into the image
Making my attempts vain each time
Secrets and Lies
They seem as if you can hide them away
The world may remain oblivious
You lie, keep it all within
But inside the fibs collect
Burn into your soul
Tearing you up
Inside a mental illness forms
The whirlwind of secrets
Over whelms your mind
Past your internal destruction
Your face shows no emotion
Of the inside corruption
Scenes of lies and immoral secrets,
Replays in your mind
Disrupting you furthermore
Too much to handle
Resort to one fixation
One last breath of air
A blow to the head
Faltering to the ground,
The blood coagulating on the asphalt
The screams, the pain, one last trickle of life
This last way out, causes more ache than ever
Wont change the disturbed person inside
A life taken, a soul wasted
The air is silent once again
But inside, there is still a war being fought
A cold, bloody battle
Only the truth could of barred it
You chose to live in complete silence
But instead got eternal combat
(this one has no title)
You're so perfect
You mean so much to me
When our eyes meet
Your features send me into a world of bliss
I feel the blood rush up my face
And trickle back down as you leave
You stiffen my body and mind
You're so flawless
Its unreal
Please love me
The passionate way I love you
I'd give anything to spend one moment together
To stare into each other, making me quiver
Please let us melt into one candle-like object
And never let the scrorching flame burn out
Callous
I stand alone
No one quite like me
Nobody knows the ache I feel
Separated from all the rest
Theyre so far ahead
Yet Im so far behind
I feel lost in the whirlwind
Why cant I be like them?
Throw myself around carelessly
Like the rest of them, the world I see
I cry day and night
I hope, I wish, I crave to flee
I just cant let it go
Sometimes I feel the blood
Combating through my vein
Warping my thoughts
Driving me insane
Theres too much pressure
I cant see through this
Not a heart understands me
Nobody knows the destruction inside
Just leave me alone
Unknown
I yearn for you day and night
It hurts so much inside, I love you so
In my darkness, you are the light
It would kill my spirit, my soul, just to let you go
Heal these wounds I hold within
I fear my blood races too fast through my veins
The pounding inside goes on, loving you must be a sin
Be with me, take away one of the many pains
When youre in my sight, my stomach twists and turns
Creating such a pain, its demoralizing, sickening me
In my mind, your image is burns
Hot, sweet, passionate love drape off the flames
That part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch you fall
Your qualities make me render
I forget all
Mistaken
I find myself walking on death row
The faces I see, the minds I feel
The laughter burns into my mortal self
Every step I take echoes my mistakes
Every snicker I hear intensifies in my mind
I cant bear this any longer
What have I done?
Copyright © 2001-2002 Laura Huet
The poems on this page may not be reproduced, republished or mirrored on another webpage or website. I'll find it eventually if it is.
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